A Path to Enlightenment

2003-04-02T18:50:00.000-08:00

Return of The King

My fellow bloggers and bloggettes! How I've longed for you. I haven't posted anything in over a month. I've been a little busy lately, but I guess that's still no excuse to deny myself the pleasure of sharing my thoughts to the world. Unfortunatley, I haven't the time to get to know the joys of blogging right now. I'll be back.

2003-02-09T20:48:00.000-08:00

Opposites attract.....and like objects repel

That saying rings all too true for me and Chicken. Heck, we even started out as enemies some would say. I can't say the same for Hairy and Wienie. They started out as quite the close comrades, but the boat started rockin when they began a relationship. They are too alike. I'm not talking about predictability issues tough. These too have short tempers and have heads as hard as diamonds. When fighting, their resiliency is quite astounding. I happen to be their Ong Mai(Vietnamese name for the guy who hooks a couple up). So whenever there's trouble in paradise, I have to come to the rescue. There isn't much to work with if they both won't talk. Miraculously, I was able to work my Chi and patch things up. to be continued....

2003-02-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

Mr. Nice Guy

I know that being passive isn't a good thing, but I expected some benefits from it. You'd think that people would treat you the same way you treat them, but that's just not true. It seems that when people find that I'm a push over, they push me around(literally sometimes). I'm the person they release all their stress on because if they did it to someone else they'll get a bad response. I don't say anything. I just stand their and take the abuse because I think it's therapeutic to get out all your stress, but sometimes they take it too far. Where do I get to relieve all my stress? To all you readers out there of course. As nice as this is, I'd still like someone I can vent my frustrations upon. Especially at this time, when I'm growing tired of everything. Even the will to live. NOT that this is a suicide note though. I mean I'm just tired of life in general. I think all I really need is someone to make me happy. I'm still looking.

2003-01-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

A lose-lose situation

A lecture from your parents can be so boring that THEY don't even pay attention to the details. You'd think they'd be practice what they preached like any good role model would do, right?For example, the adolecents in the house need transportation. At that point, the parentals complain that we're annoying. Then there's that wonderful time in a teenager's life where they finally have their own means of transportation. As you would suspect, the parental units will fret over the dangers of the road. Once you hear a long speech about that, you would think that the nagging would end there. Come on. Throw us a frickin' bone here. What do you want? When we ask for a ride, you're too busy. When we transport ourselves, you think it's too dangerous. How are we ever supposed to go anywhere? I'm sure this isn't a problem for everyone. It's normal to me, being the Vietnamese kid that I am. The only thing keeping me from going mad at home is seeing my Chicken almost everyday, but then she gives me quite the bit of drama too. There's no salvation for me.

2003-01-29T18:16:00.000-08:00

Did you forget who I was?

Have you ever felt that the object of your affection has become too controlling? Sometimes, he or she appears more like a drill sargent than your loved one. Today, I felt belittled by my Chicken. We were going home from school and I was getting a ride home. She wanted to take public transportation.(I don't know why either.)I insisted that she come with me since it was on the way to her house anyway. She opted to stick to Tri-Met. So, I said I would wait in the rain for my ride if she didn't come with me. I was then left in the rain alone. When I got home, I recieved a phone call. By then, my nose was running faster than the Columbia River. At this point, I was thinking that I would go through another fulfilling conversation with her, but I was wrong. She gave me a lecture that seemed to last an eternity. There I was. Sitting and recieving what I felt was like listening to her talk down to me. Sometimes, I think she forgets that I'm her honey and that apparently we were equal. I guess I'm not. Once I try to defend myself, she becomes angry. She then tells me she takes back everything she just yapped about. I thought I was in the clear, until she says it's not her place to care if I'm in the rain or not. I guess I'm nothing to her.

2003-01-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

I got da hook up

Finally, I've done it. I got Wienie and Hairy together. Hairy Wienie huh? I actually didn't coin those nicknames for them. It's just a coincidence. They too were friends who turned into something more. It's very sweet how both ends told me about their true feelings towards the other, but they didn't have the nerve to tell eachother. That's where I came in to save the day. They both said they would only confess their feelings to the other if the other person said it first. I could have just told them both the truth about eachother, but that wouldn't be any fun. I opted to give them both a corny move I've dubbed "The Eye". It's where you look deep into the eyes of your crush and see what their reaction is. If it's a laugh than it's generally a bad sign. If it's a serious return of emotion than you would pop this question: Have you ever thought of me as more than a friend? It worked, but not the exact way I planned. They started laughing when they both figured out I taught them the same move, but they still sought out eachothers' feelings and talked all night. They decided to play a trick on me the next day by blaming me for a disaster. I had promised each of them a dinner if my plan didn't work and at the time I was flat broke. As you can assume, I was pretty angry at my students. They were too weak to go through with it, so they finally told me they got together. Now I get dinner as a thank you. They're hooking me up with dinner at Todai Seafood Buffet. My emotions and my stomach are extremely satisfied.
May your children be beautiful,
may your life be prosperous,
and, most of all, may your sex be wonderful.
Good luck Hairy and Wienie.

2003-01-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

Another Sad Note

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, now it's your turn
To cry
(Thanks to Mr. Timberlake for these words)
Cry me a river Hanh. I forgive you, but it doesn't mean I'm suddenly happy again. It hurts me every time I think about it. How could you do it? I don't have anything else to say to you about it. Let's just drop it.

2003-01-23T19:08:00.000-08:00

I Hate You

I hate when you smile at me, because it makes me crazy about you.
I hate when I talk to you, because you make me speechless.
I hate when you're in front of me, because it makes my heart beat faster.
I hate seeing you everyday, because it makes me love you more in everyway.
I hate when you make me fall in love with you, because you make me realize I can never be with you.
I hate you Chicken.

2003-01-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

I've Missed You Too

I haven't been on the net for awhile. For the past week I've just been stressing over finals. I've yerned to relieve myself of my worries along with all of you bloggers out there. Not to go into too much detail but, I've rekindled a relationship with my "friend". This seems like the 10th time we've patched things up to try again. Thanks to this tendency of breaking up, we've been dubbed Ross and Rachel by some. Even though I should know her very well, I seem to get more and more confused by her every time we resolve our relationship problems. We've gone through some tough times. Many of our friends often wonder why we don't opt for another girl or guy. Despite all their criticism, we always get back together. I guess it's too late now. I'm contradicting my theory on love as I type this. I think we care for eachother too much to merely throw our relationship away like we would have done if we were with other people. Some call me foolish. Some call me love-sick. Others are just confused. I'd just like to find what everyone is lookin for and I think she's the one who has it. Oh, and thanks to the Cruel Cousin. I've opted not to use any real names in my passages.

2003-01-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

Love doesn't exist

That's right i dare say it. There's no such thing. It's as real as Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. I only mean love between boyfriend and girlfriend, fiancee, spouse, and so on. The feelings are true among friends, but family is questionable. Sometimes, family is just a "I love them because I have to" kind of thing. It may be a bit strange hearing that from a guy, because it's usually a female who has just got her heart broken. My reason is not that drastic. My reasons come from bad relationships. I truthfully admit that none of those problems were my fault. It's always been the ladies. I don't really blame them. It's because they were hurt before and find it awkward to be with a guy who is after more than their genitalia, so when i get involved with them they don't trust me and it's not possible for me to earn their trust. Then, their are those who are just as bad as most guys. Yes, as wimpy as it my appear, I get taken advantage of too. It's because I'm a total push over when it comes to the object of my affection. Otherwise, known as being "whipped". Just because I agree with MOST of the things they say, does not mean I'll always agree. I'm entitled to disagree. I'm constantly taken for granted by my former ladies and sometimes my friends(isn't everyone?).

2003-01-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

On The Road Again

I've finally rediscovered driving. A few months ago, I had a really stupid car accident that nearly ended my life. I thought that, in the following years, I would be too afraid to get back out there on the road. How foolish of me. Nothing can seperate teenage youth from their transportion. Despite life threatening injuries, I still want to venture out with my newly acquired driving abilities. What do you expect? A 16-year-old with the ability to drive and cars to drive with? Enough of my dangerous adventures.

2003-01-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

Is it just me?

Lately, I've had a string of bad luck. Is it me and only me? Or are some of you feeling my pain. My bad luck streak began after September 11th. I'm not saying that is the cause of my curse, but I just thought it was a weird coincidence. Over the course of this past year, I've had many bad experiences. I screwed up my academics(that may also have to do with drinking and the party scene), lost some of my best friends, had a life threatining car accident, and recently broke up with a girl that I believed to be extremely special to me(she still is), and once again I am now shattering my academic record. Those are the first ones that come to my mind. The only thing I had in common with everyone of my friends is the relationship problems. Even my dear sister has recently lost her beloved, while my precious cousins and losing possible spouses left and right. Now I'm a little unsure about this thing called love and if it even exists. I've lost a lot of faith in it recently. Funny how the people who don't believe in love are the ones who haven't found it. I'm one of those people right now.

2003-01-07T10:39:00.000-08:00

World War 3 lurks

I recently read an article about George W.'s plan of attack if Saddam didn't comply with U.N. standards. I was quite surprised by what Bush had to say about the "evil-doers". I was more surprised when I found out the launch date of an attack. Apparently, GWB has his heart set on attacking Iraq by February. Not just any day in this particular month, but on my birthday to be exact. I didn't know how to react knowing that there is a possibility that on my birthday thousands of people could die. My birthday may be the date WW3 began. I'm at a loss for words. I'm also nervous about a possible draft, though I can't be my friends might be. I'm the only son of my family and I think my father is eligible for the draft. I'm so conflicted. Either I can stay here and let my father go to his death or I can go with him and leave my mother and sister without a man in the household. I'm hoping that I'm wrong. How old can you be before the draft doesn't apply? Or does it apply to any male 16 and older? Please e-mail me if you know the answer. Thank you very much. I must get back to my school work now. I know some of you may wonder who I am. Here's a quick one. I'm 16, I'm a junior at Franklin High, I live in the city of Portland, and I'm a Vietnamese kid without anything else to do so I'm typing this.

2003-01-06T21:06:00.000-08:00

11/19/02

When i heard that you are in the hospital

Tears on my eyes never lies,
The fire inside my heart will never die.
The fear inside of my heart is getting stronger.
lallallala...............i miss you..........

These were the words of my girlfriend. Sorry let me rephrase that.: EX-girlfriend. It's all over people. After our weekend standoff, we ended it Sunday night. Something she did wrong and I feel the bad side. Unbelievable! I can't believe those words drew me in before. I just couldn't say no. I've never had the heart to. See we had split up before and I got into a car accident. On my supposed death bed, she confessed words that brought tears to my eyes. How stupid of me to believe it. Now all I'm wondering if she actually meant them. Now all I can do is put it behind me. That's what I get for taking high school relationships too seriously. How nieve. Not much to say as I usually would but I don't have the will. Sorry. Until next time my fans.

2003-01-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Couldn't Handle The Pressure

Yes. I'm here to admit it. I cracked. I couldn't out last her. This morning images of her kept flying through my mind and I couldn't take it anymore! I picked up the phone and called my girlfriend. She won, but she doesn't know yet. All I got was the busy signal all day. I'm glad and sad at the same time. I'm glad she doesn't know that I didn't have the strength to stay apart longer than she could. I'm sad because I miss her very much. As of tonight, it will be a full 72 hours since we've had our biggest fight ever. I'm in quite the dilemma. I don't know if I should call again or wait for her to call and act as if I had won the battle. On one hand, I can finally reconcile with her and put the past behind us. On the other hand, I can wait for a ring from her and salvage what dignity I have left. *sigh* Decisions, decisions. All I can do now is wait.

2003-01-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

Feminine Powers

I'd really like to learn the negotiation tactics of the human female. I mean, no matter the subject, a woman can and will win any argument 90% of the time. I'm sure many of you guys out there know what I'm talking about specifically when arguing with a girlfriend, wife or what have you. Even when it looks like there's no way for you to be wrong, those femme fatales will find a way. When I complain about something to my object of affection, (which is something I do rarely) she manages to turn the tables and make whatever I'm talking about my fault. She than gives me the silent treatment for making her mad! Making her mad?! When it's something I should be mad at her for! Insane! I know any ladies reading this will probably take her side but if you knew all the facts you might say otherwise. Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to discuss it. Nonetheless, this has infuriated me and since then we haven't spoken. We're definitely on the rocks. In reality, both parties want to talk. My sweetheart and I are just too hard-headed to pick up the phone and start dialing. I'll keep you updated on who cracks first. As of tonight it will be a full 48 hours. Tensions are growing. Wish me luck!

2003-01-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

I am, like some of you, a former asianavenue user. Like some of you, I sought something with a little more class ever since AA got popular and went " mainstream". I got tired of all the same old meet and greets from the usual suspects of AA. On top of that, I was shunned from that community because they believed I was never proud of my asianhood. The F.A.A.(F.O.B.s of America Association :)) viewed me as an outcast.I truely represented the asian-american. I was too asian for the white crowds here in Portland, while i was too americanized for the asian crowd. What a lonely world I live in. Finally, I found sanctuary. A place where my thoughts were not judged by biased peoples simply because I wasn't "asian' enough. I found the blog world. I know some of you may laugh at me simply cause I've only recently discovered blog, but I'm just not the avid net surfer that you are. I was introduced to blog by my disturbingly hilarious kin Tom. He insisted i stay away from the mainstream crowd. I owe him big time. Take a look at his Path to Enlightenment at malaise.blogspot.com