A lose-lose situation

A lecture from your parents can be so boring that THEY don't even pay attention to the details. You'd think they'd be practice what they preached like any good role model would do, right?For example, the adolecents in the house need transportation. At that point, the parentals complain that we're annoying. Then there's that wonderful time in a teenager's life where they finally have their own means of transportation. As you would suspect, the parental units will fret over the dangers of the road. Once you hear a long speech about that, you would think that the nagging would end there. Come on. Throw us a frickin' bone here. What do you want? When we ask for a ride, you're too busy. When we transport ourselves, you think it's too dangerous. How are we ever supposed to go anywhere? I'm sure this isn't a problem for everyone. It's normal to me, being the Vietnamese kid that I am. The only thing keeping me from going mad at home is seeing my Chicken almost everyday, but then she gives me quite the bit of drama too. There's no salvation for me.

Did you forget who I was?

Have you ever felt that the object of your affection has become too controlling? Sometimes, he or she appears more like a drill sargent than your loved one. Today, I felt belittled by my Chicken. We were going home from school and I was getting a ride home. She wanted to take public transportation.(I don't know why either.)I insisted that she come with me since it was on the way to her house anyway. She opted to stick to Tri-Met. So, I said I would wait in the rain for my ride if she didn't come with me. I was then left in the rain alone. When I got home, I recieved a phone call. By then, my nose was running faster than the Columbia River. At this point, I was thinking that I would go through another fulfilling conversation with her, but I was wrong. She gave me a lecture that seemed to last an eternity. There I was. Sitting and recieving what I felt was like listening to her talk down to me. Sometimes, I think she forgets that I'm her honey and that apparently we were equal. I guess I'm not. Once I try to defend myself, she becomes angry. She then tells me she takes back everything she just yapped about. I thought I was in the clear, until she says it's not her place to care if I'm in the rain or not. I guess I'm nothing to her.

I got da hook up

Finally, I've done it. I got Wienie and Hairy together. Hairy Wienie huh? I actually didn't coin those nicknames for them. It's just a coincidence. They too were friends who turned into something more. It's very sweet how both ends told me about their true feelings towards the other, but they didn't have the nerve to tell eachother. That's where I came in to save the day. They both said they would only confess their feelings to the other if the other person said it first. I could have just told them both the truth about eachother, but that wouldn't be any fun. I opted to give them both a corny move I've dubbed "The Eye". It's where you look deep into the eyes of your crush and see what their reaction is. If it's a laugh than it's generally a bad sign. If it's a serious return of emotion than you would pop this question: Have you ever thought of me as more than a friend? It worked, but not the exact way I planned. They started laughing when they both figured out I taught them the same move, but they still sought out eachothers' feelings and talked all night. They decided to play a trick on me the next day by blaming me for a disaster. I had promised each of them a dinner if my plan didn't work and at the time I was flat broke. As you can assume, I was pretty angry at my students. They were too weak to go through with it, so they finally told me they got together. Now I get dinner as a thank you. They're hooking me up with dinner at Todai Seafood Buffet. My emotions and my stomach are extremely satisfied.
May your children be beautiful,
may your life be prosperous,
and, most of all, may your sex be wonderful.
Good luck Hairy and Wienie.